The News That Wasn't : Ishant blames it on the hair; vows to donate them to Tirupati

In a candid moment, while speaking to the media, Ishant confessed that it was the long hair that crowded his vision while bowling the 48^th over against the Aussies in the match in Mohali. The fast bowler gave away 30 runs in the second last over which clinched the match away from the Indians. Till the 47^th nothing looked to be working for the Aussies. The celebrations in the Indian Camp, although quite mistaken, were on, with the skipper regrouping his team after every over, to decide the venue for the after party. Our sources tell us that the youngsters in the team had not fully concurred with skipper’s choice. Dhoni had looked tense thereafter.

When asked about the details, the bowler volunteered to imitate his run-up for the media and prove his point. “Usually I try to throw the ball very fast randomly on any part of the pitch. I never needed to see where I was bowling. By the laws of probability, I would always bowl some good balls. But in that over, MS, all of a sudden, asked me to pitch it in the right areas. That’s just not how it works with me. Now if you ask an experienced bowler to change his bowling strategy in like 10 minutes; Aisa thodi hota hai yaar. But still I tried.”

Ishant imitated himself rather skilfully to illustrate how as soon as he had to release the ball after the run up, spaghetti in coal sauce type hair would completely block his eyes, which he was so desperately dependent on ; now that he had to see where he was bowling.  When asked what he was going to take back from this match, Ishant said – “One, I’m going to sue our team hairdresser, who is ultimately and totally responsible for our loss today. Two, I’m going to Tirupati to donate my hair for the greater good of mankind and cricket.” When asked if bowling to James Faulkner will give him the hibiby-jibies in the coming matches, Ishant in his signature style rebutted that he didn’t really give a ‘faulk’ about him.  

The 7ft bowler, still seeming to be recovering from shock and paranoia, refused to comment any further. “We’re still having that party. I have to go.” – He is learnt to have said before leaving.