The last time I enriched this blog with my non-sense , it was more than a month back. It seems, that in my melancholy , I've ridiculed this blog, what I've come to call, the chamber of secrets ,completely out of my curriculum. But now, that the emptiness it inflicts on me, proceeds intolerable levels, I'm irked, if not forced, to put in a few strands of my sullen self.
Be it, as it may, I've been offered the position of a business analyst, or in more general terms, an analyst. A part of my job, if at all I join , would be to interpret data, to resurrect trends that were inconceivable to the naked eye, to discover hidden pyscholology that stretches beyond the usual plethora of commom sense.
So, I was thinking, that it's only natural to start off with a self analysis of sorts. As a study, it stands neck to neck with my ostensible clamour in every interview I've faced so far : " I see myself as a self marketing product, which is constantly trying to add value to itself. " Now for once, I'll get to mind my own business, much more professionally. ( Mind the repition. I've just been too boastful of the Business Analyst title.)
Hemmed with bubbling curiosity, as and when I endeavor to create a mood graph for myself, I'm unable to unearth any conceivable pattern in it. Not that I was entirely unaware of this trend, but , yes I should agree, this as an unusuality in emotion has constantly threatened my composure, which then and eventually worms into an inevitable , and often, worthless self introspection. Such volatility often reminds me of the stock markets, the trends of which I barely manage to skim through every morning. Being emotional , is one thing, and being impassive , is another, but from what it looks, I belong to a rather dynamic variety, the kind that shifts personality , like shifting clouds. It reminds me of that song from Music and Lyrics, a line of it was something like: " I wake up with a cloud above my head.." Yup, a cloud it is. A cloud above my head.
Coming to terms with the whole thing, I realise that I've done reasonably well, concealing myself in an impenetratable shell, that gave me both the authority and the audacity to have so much to say , and still not express it. But all that I know now, is that things have changed, and it's only direly anticipated of me to change accordingly. Isn't that a dilemma ? I mean, years of apathy can't just shy away in months, can it? That said, I think , I've lost a lot, coping with this apathy, so much so, that sometimes I prefer to blurt out unreal, forced emotions with an ingenuous risk of getting caught on the wrong foot.
While I spend this night in my hostel room, enjoying the wind that seems to cuddle my hair, and the prevailing noises in the corridor, that give me an impression of standing in a fish market, I seem to ask myself this one question: How could I be so heartless?, how could anybody be that heartless? The song plays in an infinite loop on my laptop( Heartless- The Fray) , only seems to echo this question. And I do, what seems to be the only thing I can do about it, think .
Be it, as it may, I've been offered the position of a business analyst, or in more general terms, an analyst. A part of my job, if at all I join , would be to interpret data, to resurrect trends that were inconceivable to the naked eye, to discover hidden pyscholology that stretches beyond the usual plethora of commom sense.
So, I was thinking, that it's only natural to start off with a self analysis of sorts. As a study, it stands neck to neck with my ostensible clamour in every interview I've faced so far : " I see myself as a self marketing product, which is constantly trying to add value to itself. " Now for once, I'll get to mind my own business, much more professionally. ( Mind the repition. I've just been too boastful of the Business Analyst title.)
Hemmed with bubbling curiosity, as and when I endeavor to create a mood graph for myself, I'm unable to unearth any conceivable pattern in it. Not that I was entirely unaware of this trend, but , yes I should agree, this as an unusuality in emotion has constantly threatened my composure, which then and eventually worms into an inevitable , and often, worthless self introspection. Such volatility often reminds me of the stock markets, the trends of which I barely manage to skim through every morning. Being emotional , is one thing, and being impassive , is another, but from what it looks, I belong to a rather dynamic variety, the kind that shifts personality , like shifting clouds. It reminds me of that song from Music and Lyrics, a line of it was something like: " I wake up with a cloud above my head.." Yup, a cloud it is. A cloud above my head.
Coming to terms with the whole thing, I realise that I've done reasonably well, concealing myself in an impenetratable shell, that gave me both the authority and the audacity to have so much to say , and still not express it. But all that I know now, is that things have changed, and it's only direly anticipated of me to change accordingly. Isn't that a dilemma ? I mean, years of apathy can't just shy away in months, can it? That said, I think , I've lost a lot, coping with this apathy, so much so, that sometimes I prefer to blurt out unreal, forced emotions with an ingenuous risk of getting caught on the wrong foot.
While I spend this night in my hostel room, enjoying the wind that seems to cuddle my hair, and the prevailing noises in the corridor, that give me an impression of standing in a fish market, I seem to ask myself this one question: How could I be so heartless?, how could anybody be that heartless? The song plays in an infinite loop on my laptop( Heartless- The Fray) , only seems to echo this question. And I do, what seems to be the only thing I can do about it, think .
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