Literally, white noise , is a disturbance with a flat spectral density. That's what wikipedia says about it. What my own understanding helps me make of it ,is that it's a noise that enters one's system, and is there till eternity. It's flat , because it's not caused by something. It's just there.
Sometimes it seems as if there's something running in the background, eating away one's bandwidth, forcing one to think in a direction ,you'd rather obscure from. The white noise per se.
So, I've been thinking, and thinking a little more about it and so it seems, that I'm almost conscious of this noise in my head now. A little off beat, but the one thing which I've been noticing has been my decreasing appetite for words. The effect is so poignant, that it almost seems like having lost an old friend.
All said, I'm back ,up and running , talking about the usual stuff. Trying to make sense of non-sense and least of all , adding value to myself. ( haha) Just thought it was important to laugh, for the morons may take it literally. Not you. Oh, not you too.
So, before I could return to my dark sense of humour, let me open the pandora's box for you, and throw some updates. Life, over the past few weeks, has been like a lemon soda; you've had it before you know it. Friends have returned to their state of ignorance. A welcome change has been my self anointment in the "experienced in love" category and hence romantic advice has been flowing, unprovoked, and rather instinctively to those, who may or may not be needing/wanting/not-wanting it. ( Please calm your raised eyebrows, take a deep breath, I was just joking.)
To talk a little about myself, I'm seeing myself to be utterly indulged in the state of constant observation. Not that I've been doing much with the camera, but the sheer adrenaline to see a moment, which could have been captured, has resurrected in me a newly found curiosity, a kind that may even compel me to wake up early and hit the road ( hit-the-road !, think about it) without purpose.
Stretching it a little bit , I've come to see a kind of essence in doing something and sometimes everything ,without a sense of purpose. Sometimes , it's just this 'want of purpose' that is ,precisely, the noise, white noise as I've come to call it.
As somebody very thoughtfully said : The purpose of purpose, as such, should, quite purposefully be, kept purposeless.
