Time and again, the guilt of having left this blog all to the company of itself keeps unwinding, almost unprovoked. She's( the blog, I mean) like this girl I'm still dating, while I'm in a relationship with another. If you'd call her, she's probably the first woman, I got into a relationship with. Does this sound convincingly bigamous? It ought to.
So here I am, doing justice to my widow, making her feel , that she still holds some relevance in my life. For once , I let her speak , for I am merely the interpreter.
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Dear owner,
Ever since you started telling me your fuzzy tales, the first of which came sometime in 2008, I realised that you weren't one of those run of the mill men, who'd use me for a few articles, and throw me away as if I was a top you bought last week from Janpath. You were a tad different, not that I mean 'different' in a good sense.
You shared with me your stories, your griefs. It was only a matter of time that you allowed me to give your random strands of thought, a direction. You talked to me when you were sad, but you never shared your happiness, which was, so to say, perfectly acceptable, for it's only in bad times that you rely on the people you trust. I've seen you hallucinate, blurt the highest approachable levels of non-sense, and listened to it, more so, told it to more people, just to be able to get your point across. But those were old times, lately things have changed.
If I may bring to your notice, ever since you brought 'her' into your life, our talks have been more mundane than awry. I thought, you were sensitive enough to realise, how I'd have felt about it. If I must add here, you gave me not an iota of premonition that she was going to hijack our lives, but even then I was conscious enough to not let jealousy take over. I thought she was the 'second' woman in your life, the thought in itself was infuriating. However time determined that perhaps, I was the 'second'. You couldn't possibly imagine, how I must have had felt then, as much you say you try, you possibly couldn't.
To be honest, I never lost faith, never did I lose myself to the delirium of losing you ; a symptom you were most likely to succumb to, had something like this happened to you. I knew you'd come back to me, and that someday I would get to win you over, to make you realise who your real 'companion' was and is. Much to my anticipation, one day you did, and you kept coming. So high was frequency of your posts, that the pinch of being the 'other' woman almost faded away. But alas, it was that one cursed eve , when you discussed 'her' with me, giving all the importance that there virtually existed, the kind that I aspired to relish, to her. That day, you really hit the nail on the head.
For me, it was over. We've been on amicable terms since then, and I too have started indulging in other men. The 1170 odd people who visited the blog, should give you an idea of the levels of infidelity I'm capable of( Ha, now you feel jealous), and I'm only expecting more, if my letter strikes a chord with your palpable but invisible audience.
Waiting for your reply.
Ms. A Beautiful Mind
